futurebird's Diaryland Diary

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a wolf raised by sheep

Your parents will only let you grow so much. For the first part of your life they�re devoted to helping you grow. But to finish growing, to really grow up, I think you need to break out-- and do something they never expected of you.

This is why I�m so happy for Owen. He�s cutting free and going to Boston to live. It�ll be hard and he might be poor for a bit (I plan to send him $5 in the mail when I can) But, in the end, this may the best thing for him. This may be his road to becoming his own man.

Giacamo didn�t call before leaving for New York this weekend. This makes me sad. I�ll still give him the book of poetry-- I have no use for it myself. I�ve decided it�s over. I�m unknitting my heart from his and closing down my dreams. I hope I don�t cry. There�s nothing more pathetic than crying about potentially losing someone.

Nick is coming over. It�ll be nice to say hi. I�m not going to telling him about my fears of impending heartbreak. I want him to think my life is perfect because I know that drives him nuts. Why am I so evil? Eh. Why not?

I need to break out too. My parents don�t know who I am. I listen to how some of my friends talk to their parents and I�m so jealous. They have real conversations. They talk about their life. I share nothing with my family. I have 1000s of secrets and I just sit and chat about the weather. I don�t feel like we have much in common. How did a person like me grow up in that house?

Maybe I�m like a wolf raised by sheep . . . it was just bound to come out eventually . . .Grrrrrrrrrr.

13:23:36 - 2000-11-22

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