futurebird's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can write about it, though!
And it all goes rushing away from me, suddenly. I�m here where it is night and the light is very ... yellow, and it is too cold if I open the window and too hot if I close it. I am the beaten and lonely dog who has been in its cage for too long. I�m mad with wonder at these visions of other people�s futures. Events that I will not belong too. I can write about it, though! I can tap out every thought as if naming the shape of my pain would diminish it. I let my neck bend and stare at my hip. �Isn�t it good� I try to think "that there are lovely things in the world?" Good? Yes. It's good. There is no better answer to that question. I know that will be the happiest moment of his life. There is nothing I can do to compete with that kind of happiness. There is nothing witty I can say, nothing I can give him or show him that will compare. It leads me to wonder what my happiest moment will be-- I think my happiest moment (if I�m ever to be happy) would be to discover that of all that I�ve just written now not one word will come true. 01:55:04 - 2000-12-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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