futurebird's Diaryland Diary
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no ghosts for me, thank you
Sometimes I feel as though I�m living in the past�but here is the weird part: it�s not my past, it�s just a time long ago, before I was born or something. Like 1969, or something. I went to the fine arts library at rockefeller center today. It was so hot that I could not think. The sunlight in the courtyard was blinding and hard. If I�d had a gun in my hand I might have shot an arab. I could not see the point of any action and the old architecture there, the white modern lines and the reflecting pool (drained to conserve water) was somehow sad, and alive with memories that belong to other people.
After listening to some music in the air-conditioned building (most) of my wits came back to me and I watched with amusement as a young girl maybe 16 or so stomped up to the reflecting pool in 6 inch high flip flops and (seeing that it was empty) stomped away in a huff. I made note of this and planned to go for a wade in there some not-so-hot day when this water shortage ends.
But, I�m still reeling from that odd sensation of being overwhelmed by something other them myself. If I were a mystical person I�d say I�d been infected with a ghost. But, it was probably just the sun. From now until september I�ll wear a white hat and stay in the shadows. I don�t like being a vessel for the past, even though I don�t even think that it is possible for me to be one. Well, to be honest I don�t even want to know. There are terrible things lurking there, or maybe just madness.
ghost.html - 2002-07-29
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