futurebird's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a triumph of disorder There must be a point in life when I�ll stop growing up and start dying. I wonder if there is a clear sensation that marks that point. I doubt it. Most people would want to say say they�re still growing up even if they�re in their 80s. Maybe that�s true. Maybe you don�t start dying until you say you�ve started. Death is a triumph of disorder. Move a few chunks of flesh to the left or right and we cease to function. It�s a wonder I�ve lived as long as I have. I don�t think about how fragile I am very often. I abuse my body regularly, I always heal . . . I feel immortal. Most of the time I heal stronger than before. Abuse reminds my body that it has to fight disorder. If I feel no pain I might grow blurry around the edges. My body stops fighting, I die a little then I think. So, to live I must suffer . . . what a bummer. 18:53:53 - 2000-11-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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