futurebird's Diaryland Diary
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compelled by some brutish animal force to go on living
Why should I ever have kids, when the world is so hard on me that I regret having been born?
I don't *support* misogyny it just seems to be the most natural reaction I can find to the way things are. I look women and I hate them especially the things that make a woman a woman: most particularly, lately, having children.
I want to call for a moratorium on births. Imagine if we all did that? not another child was born on earth. We could grow old together and die with the knowledge that we had not inflicted the world on our children. It seems like the most moral thing we could do. I know it's crazy but I fanaticize about it all the time. I may write about it. I don't know, life seems to be a set up for unhappiness.
For example, children, unless severely abused, are given a certain amount of natural happiness. You grow older only to discover that you will never be that happy again. You have to work to live. Every day will be difficult and, most strikingly, no one cares. You have to be responsible for yourself and I find that annoying and depressing. I don't want to put my kids through it. So right now I say "I won't have any" you can place bets on that changing but I'm starting to think I'm serious.
I don't know how to fix things so that it isn't so awful to live. There are a few good things: poetry, nature, falling in love. But even that is not enough to justify all of the frustration and loneliness a life adds up to.
Then there is the worst part of all: I am, everyone is, (well most everyone) compelled by some brutish animal force to go on living. At any cost, through pain and hardship. IT'S AWFUL! And then people say they enjoy it all. I don't understand.
So, basically, we are all stuck here until we die. Let's make the most of it, but why put anyone else through it? Why would that accomplish? Just say "no" to babies.
17:14:26 - 2001-02-03
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