futurebird's Diaryland Diary

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My nervous energy isn�t helping.

Tech rehearsals never give you a warm fuzzy feeling: especially if you are the director. It�s like watching this thing you have worked on (and agonised over) for weeks suddenly turn on you. All of the things you thought �oh I�ll fix that later� come glaring out. Suddenly, there are lights and new props costume pieces and the actors stop remembering everything that you have built with them in rehearsal.

Then you go home and you realise that the show isn't yours anymore. All I can do now is sit back wring my hands and take notes as fast as I can--

I guess I don�t like it very much. But the show is coming alive and for a few moments tonight a little beauty, humour and all the things we strive for emerged.

I need to calm down. They know this show. My nervous energy isn�t helping. I�m going to write a little note to one of my actors I was way too hard on him (and a bit unfair too) from now on after the last rehearsal I need to plan to keep my moth shut more. Well, he�s planning to be a professional, hopefully he�ll learn to take last minute notes with a grain of salt.

I write this morbid thing this morning and I just read it and burst out laughing. Someone said it was a prime example of �bourgeois angst� and I thought that was very apt.

I�m living in a comedy and I don't even know it!

04:19:50 - 2001-02-04

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