futurebird's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the inner misanthrope I�ve been assaulted by a social life. In my empty, dark, room I had always longed for someone to call or a party to go to but now all at once there are too many. Maybe it�s the whole mid-semester break thing sinking in. Last night I went with Nick and Joe to a party in the warehouse district, one of the fashionable lofts downtown in the part of the city where they used to sore the goods from the manufacturing plants before shipping them all over the world. These days they�re converted to trendy apartments. Everyone was there, the music people the art people, the people doing esoteric research with robots and ants. (yes like the move pi) There was a jazz band singing songs like Paper Moon and a bunch of stuff by Billie Holiday. I got in some quality dancing time (that I�d like to rationalise makes up for not running for the past two days). I also drank some whisky and said a few things that people seemed to find witty. So it was a good gig. Today I�m worn out. Going out though, even when I have a good time makes me feel sort of empty. I decided about a year ago that being a misanthrope by profession was too much. I would go out. Socialise, humour them but I would be lonely at heart. It�s hard to maintain that �loneliness at heart� though under all of this pressure and gossip. If a few more weeks go by like this I�m terrified I�ll become exceedingly bland. Maybe it�s time to start locking myself in my room again? I think I got the inner misanthrope back today though. I ran a lively six miles (that�s what two days off will do to you) and I feel much more like my bitter self again. Phew! That was a close one! 23:39:03 - 2001-03-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||