futurebird's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
soon.
The empty office.
I was in to work early today, and I went in to the empty office on the other side of our floor. The light is so bright in there and the space is so open. I smoked a ciggrete and looked at new york city and remembered why I fell in love with this place again. I feel like I've been living underground for years.
I long for a place of my own in this city, one with a fire escape that I can sit on, one where I can get some light. I thought of renting the empty office, it would be about $3000 for a month, I could do that and then I'd have a full month of space and light and then... and then I'd be broke. It's a dumb idea I guess. My mind is getting soft.
I just need to know if I got the fellowship. I just want to know. Then I can start making new plans. I wish I could sleep till then. And while I'm knocked out I wish someone would pull out these rotten painful wisdom teeth. I might thin out a bit too. I want a bright empty space. And clairity. I would call this depression, but I can see a way out. One way or another, things will change. That almost makes me giddy.
9:24 a.m. - 2003-03-25
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------