futurebird's Diaryland Diary

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it must be very weak and vulnerable

I love poetry. But at times I�m inclined to hate it. Whatever it is in me that makes me clench my fist and bob my head with my eyes closed after reading words like:

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

from Mary Oliver�s Wild Geese

it must be very weak and vulnerable, I think. I really don�t like to think of myself and such a feeble and emotional person, but the poetry shows me up.

The worst part is that I know it won�t speak to everyone.

Everyone is leaving Pittsburgh. Going to places where they'll be reunited with friends. I�ll be the guard who waits out these grey empty days. I�ll stay in this quiet hell and whisper poetry to myself until I make my face all ugly with tears. A pathetic sobbing thing too lost to use her paws to dry her face.

It�s best to wait it out. All things will be born again. I�m too young to be on the road to death yet. I should be happy!

16:10:15 - 2000-12-16

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