futurebird's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A life of met assumptions: good as death. On New Year�s Eve, for a moment, I thought I might be killed. They were all looking at us. Thier eyes said �Where did you come from? Who are you? Why are you here?� and possibly �We don�t like you.� People drift through life, deep, in a haze of assumptions. Days are filled with patterns. Everyman passes through the same spaces, says the same things and the result is the same. Like a pink-eyed rat pushing a lever with both paws for a drug, we do what works. What stops the pain. What feels good. What keeps us sane. That�s why I did it that's why I went. Fortunately, the universe isn�t as orderly as we�d like to think it is. Sometimes where there is a totor36 there is a totor35. Let me explain. totor36 is a mailing list: mostly CMU/Pitt people. It�s quirky, intellectual, random. When I received an invitation by email for a New Year�s party I was excited to go out to meet some new people. The party was out in a suburb I�d never been to before �oakmont.� We took a cab, just got there at 11:53. Everyone was downing shots in preparation for the new year. I looked around and noticed that I didn�t know anyone. Not a single person. In fact this group of people didn�t even look like any of the people I know. Not that they look strange, or bad . . . just different, less pretentious. Less trying-to-be-New-York-City thand my normal set of friends. Cautiously, Nick and I joined in the reveries: �10 . . . 9 . . . 8 . . .� And it was lovely as ever. Everyone counts down. Everyone screams. Everyone kisses. No matter who you are. I have proof of this now. As we all calmed down I noticed that people were looking at us sort of funny. We weren�t dressed right for this party . . .or something. �So, who are you?� One kid says. Nick explained the invitation �We�re on this list. We thought we�d know some more people than this--- totor36� �totor36!� one boy screams �We HATE them. They are our mortal enemies. This is totor35.� �We all have to die some day.� I thought. I waited to die. But the kid started laughing. �Okay so how did this happen?� He asked amused and amazed. We were both relatively new to the list-- that night we found out the list had gone on for years. First it was totor35 then there was a big fight and it broke into two lists totor36 and totor35-- We were at the wrong party. We had paid for a cab. I thought that all was lost. But then an amazing thing happened. The kids at the party told us to stay. We watched �Airplane� and listened to Bruce Springsteen-- I ended up having a lot of fun. They were good people and after the party I couldn�t stop laughing-- it was fun to be the centre of attention �the strangers here by mistake.� And they were great people to welcome some strangers. For a moment I had stopped drifting and having my expectations met. I had to learn again, adjust. I got to thinking about why I never talked much to people �like that.� My prejudices had been hauled out into the light for me to see. The assumptions I�d make about someone just because they wear army fatigues or have their hair died blonde and permed. I could begin to rethink it. What a little snob I can be sometimes! They should misroute more emails about New Year�s parties. A life of met assumptions: good as death. This was the best New Year yet. 07:00:49 - 2001-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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