futurebird's Diaryland Diary

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vermont


The house in vermont was quiet.

My brother asked mom and dad and grandma and uncle C to come up to the ski house he has in Vermont. He's always wanted me to come by, but I kept putting it off, now that I know what I was missing I think I'll be back. (he'll be sorry for inviting me...) It was so cold and quiet there. I was only away for two days, but it felt like a whole week. I really needed to get out of Manhattan I guess. Just seeing the sky... cleared my head so much.

I've been a bit moody lately. Sad in some ways, but last night R reminded me that this is my life and I can change it if I must. I don't know what's wrong with me. When I'm not tortured by impossible dreams I'm sad since I miss dreaming. I dream of having a dream again, I guess.

I went to the gym today. I've just been running, but that dose nothing for my arms, so I'm getting back to my gym thing.

It's late. R's not back from school yet. I'm too tired to clean or do anything productive. I've taken a melatonin pill and I'm nodding off even as I type. I need to sleep... so that I can wake up ... and sleep.

11:38 p.m. - 2002-12-03

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