futurebird's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I�m ready to start again. I�m ready to start again. I�ve kept this diary for nearly three full years and I see no reason to stop now. I just read some of the old entries and I was surprised to discover that I both like and miss the person I was. I�m changing. Change is scary, but I also like the person who I have become, so change can be good. I think my story matters even if no one bothers to read it. That�s why I�m writing here again. I was sick for three days last week. I had a terrible flu and could not get out of bed. I felt so helpless and things didn�t get better when I went to work on Thursday. I was so far behind on my projects that I wanted to break down and cry. I�m still catching up today. This is the first day that I�ve felt good enough to run. I�ll go right after work. (Can�t wait!) I�ve taken to writing in little black notebooks. I write scenes from my plays out long-hand, often while nursing a martini at Keen�s on 35th. I find that writing by hand is much more free for me these days and I often find it hard to stop, even when it�s crowed and people are pushing in beside me to buy drinks or talk. All of the noise around me stops and I�m there in the story, hearing the voices seeing the faces and emotions of the characters as they face each other off, or help each other, or try to save each other. I don�t want to say anything about the story I�m working on since I�ll jinx it and end up with writer�s block. But when it is done, and once I have typed it I�ll share a few scenes. I think it could be very good. SR & H, friends of R, took me to dinner the other night. We had a wonderful conversation about buildings and history and how the brain works and a dozen other things. SR remarked that she had never gotten R to play her any music, and I thought that was odd since she�s known him longer than I have. R is very shy about his music for some reason, I hope he gets back in to writing and playing it someday. I�d also like to hear it. SR told me that he�s a record or two made, but no longer has any copies. I wonder why. But, I don�t wonder very much. I know what it�s like to have old scripts lying around, you think you can write better so you get rid of them thinking you�ll make something new� or at least that�s what I�ve done. I�ve acutely lost every copy of a novel I wrote, and that almost bothers me� except when I remember that the novel was about a talking piano or something like that� but still 300 pages is quite a lot of words. Quite a lot of words, but never the right ones. Anyway, I�m a playwright, I don�t �do� books. 11:10 a.m. - 2003-03-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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