futurebird's Diaryland Diary
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the cold got to my bones
On the roof of the building I work at... I sneak up here to have a smoke, and for the view.
I was not able to run last night. By the end of my day at work I was far too exhausted. R ordered take-out from noodle 88, but I didn�t feel like eating. I watched �Law and Order� and fell asleep. I watch too much television lately. I�ve always been an anti-television person, mostly because when I start watching I don�t ever stop. I have no self-control. I�ll have to talk to R about getting rid of the thing�
Since I haven�t been running or eating very much for the past two weeks I�ve lost weight. I�ve lost a lot of muscle and I can feel it when I try to open doors or carry groceries. I also look really wimpy. I looked at my self in the mirror in the rest room at work and wondered if I�d ever get any color back in my cheeks again. I keep thinking about how nice it will be when spring comes. I feel funny wishing for spring because I have always been devoted to winter. Perhaps this winter was just too much for me.
My mother used to say that it was important to wear a coat since if you �let the cold get to your bones� in the dead of winter you might not ever be able to get warm again until the summer came. I think this must be my problem. My bones are still cold. I want to be warm again. Someone, tell the wind.
9:46 a.m. - 2003-03-04
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